Flibbertygibbet

Needling away

It has been irking me that I haven't been to knitting group for three weeks.  I've been too busy being mental (both mental busy with the stall and mentally unstable, la la la la la) So I'm going this morning.  Despite the fact it's such a horrible grey day I don't want to leave the house, but STBXH is here all day now and so it's probably better to be out. 

I think that I have moved on a little - past shock and denial into anger.  I'm cross with the entire world, or "wagin' " as I used to say when I was little and couldn't pronounce my Rs.  What comes next?  Apart from the Alcohol and Chocolate stage.

Three signs that I should return to knitting:

1. A very sweet email from an extremely talented uber-blogger who's a mainstay of our group, which reminded me that although I am newish to the meet, nobody gossips about any of the other members which is true.  I have nothing to be afraid of but blubbing in public, and eh, where's the shame as long as you have tissues and don't need to use your sleeve.
2. An email from Fabrications, about the relaunch of the Hagedashery following refurbishments.  It's a wonderful wee emporium in Broadway Market, and they are running their knitting classes again on Sunday 10th and Sunday 17th December from 2-4pm, suitable for complete beginners or the more experienced.  Barley Massey and Sue Russell of Wool N Boat are teaching - I'm tempted to go along to knit on those massive needles again!
3. And then, though I don't actually remember signing up for it, an email arrived from Catirina Bonet, a knitwear designer.  I'm not sure I'm going to knit either of this projects - but they made me smile!  They are doing a special offer at the moment - buy one pattern and get one to gift...

The Sisters

 

Scissor Sisters were awesome, of course they were.  The new refurbished Wembley arena is also very impressive but oh my, the crowd in there was rubbish though.  The Ta-Da lift doors opened on stage, and we immediately jumped up - and were the only people in the stand who did.  It took a good half an hour, and Laura before anyone else stood up.

We saw them at the beginning of the tour, in July, at Benicassim in Spain.  How everything was different then.  Anyway, even though they were on stage there at 3.00am, and most of the show was from the second album which hadn't been released yet, it was the most electrifying atmosphere.

But last night, regardless of the boring gits,  I sang and screamed and shouted until I was so very hoarse.  Love those Sisters.

Hiding away...

My crafting companion - also hiding away

Yes, I've been hiding and things have been rollercoastering, as is to be expected.  But there have also been a few unexpected things. 

I had a very minor lottery win - about £70, which was just about the same amount I'd spent on materials earlier that day, hurrah!

The second market day wasn't great either - heavy showers meant the dismal footfall of last week was decreased further, plus the organisers started to put the lighting up at about 4.00pm - just in time for packing up.  I think that because there are no sides or back to the canopies the products don't stand out so well, which was made worse by the lack of lighting.  Though my visual merchandising skills grow each week, you still have to be able to dismantle things and move them out of the rain, as yesterday...plus as it's all handmade, I don't have tons and tons of stuff to display. But it does get better every week.  I've been offered another stall at a Christmas market which I'm going to do, details to follow, and may do one day at Camden market.  Apparently if you make your own stuff you get priority.  Must get a sign for 'Flibbertygibbet's Parlour'.  Also a couple talked to me for a long time about a bed-sized quilt for their little girl, which would be a really big commission.  I do hope they get back in touch with me.  I'm determined to press on with it until Christmas and have also started to properly research a connected business proposal that has been at the back of my mind for a long time.

Big conversations chez Flib this morning.  STBXH (Soon To Be Ex-Husband - hereafter XH) is going away for the New Year and I can't say I blame him.  I joked that if I could find a residential embroidery course I'd be gone too.  Does anyone know of any workshop type courses over the new year, in the UK?  Do let me know if you do, for any sort of crafting. Distraction would be great.  Lots of practical things to think about, such as who's going to mind the mogs over Christmas, as if they go to XH's mother they wouldn't be back until the middle of January and I'd miss them too much.

Lots more ideas for things for the shop, wristlets (which Emilia Fox was looking at on Saturday, but I didn't get the chance to talk to her as another woman was chatting away about what I was knitting - still the same scarf for Mum - and then her friend called her away to look at the organic vegetables, dammit) which are made out of some of the famous Ethel stash, and finished with either pearl snaps or vintage buttons - probably vintage buttons for the rest of them, actually.  There are a couple of things which are still under wraps for another few days, but if they work out the way I'm hoping I'll be very excited. 

And in the spirit of our friends across the pond this week, things I'm thankful for:

Alphabet friends - C, D, E, F, G, H, J, K  who've all been great this week.

Scissor Sisters - going to see them tonight, and as most of the second album seems to be about break-ups  - or at least that's the way I'm hearing it - it will be good to sing along.

Parents - coming to see me next week. Better finish the scarf.  Mum's birthday is on Tuesday.

No, no Nano!

Hmmm, let me see. My personal life has literally gone down the toilet at light speed since 31st October to now. Despite the fact I'm not in full time employment, I have not had a whole lot of time to write my Nanowrimo novel. The fact that I don't have a plot seems inconsequential. I'm trying to get stuff made for my market stall on Saturday and so have been spending most of my time on that and will be there all day on Saturday. I have decorators and painters in on Friday and Monday, and my lovely parents arriving on Tuesday to make sure I haven't slit my wrists and staying till Thursday (god, I didn't plan that well)

And none of that is any excuse.  Jesus, it's the end of a marriage, not the end of the world.

What I do have is...

A double espresso (and more where that came from)
A packet of sugary biscuits
A packet of sugary sweets
A magic Nanowrimo postcard sent to me from Denise

i'm getting to 25,000+ tonight and then we'll see where we go. I'm telling myself that my reward for doing this is going to the Scissor Sisters on Sunday at Wembley (oh my, makes my chest pound to think of it!)

Told the closest friends over lunch today.  Sent home some very emotional drunk ladies.  Saying it out loud gets easier each time.

SEND GOOD WRITING KARMA, PEOPLE.....

Bags of fun

Lots of crafty goodness happened yesterday.  It's mostly for the stall next week, but will also post them on my other website

Shoe bags!  This is a small one, for pumps or flats.

For your Manolos, Jimmy Choos, Emma Hopes... longer and sewn into two separate pockets to avoid them damaging each other.  The trim goes around the back too. 

Another shoe bag - pretty slippers.  Again sewn into two pockets.

And these are my 'Dirty Weekend' laundry bags - no more stuffing your dainties into a crappy plastic bag when you're packing to come home. Both these and the shoe bags are approximately 30cm x 44cm so big enough but not too big.

I just love these novelty fabrics, mostly ordered from the US.  There's a gap in the market here, I tell you...

I forgot to wish him a happy birthday this morning.  Whoops.  I feel really mean now.  It may be me unconsciously acting on my [hopping mad] grandmother's earlier outburst of 'I hope she doesn't even wish him a happy birthday'...

Stocking up

This week I'll be making lots more stock for the market (two more days booked at the moment, 25th November and 2nd December) and I've decided to mostly concentrate on these.

Make up bags, contact lens kit bags, or as I like to think of them 'the bag for all the junk that otherwise ends up at the bottom of my handbag' bags.  You know, the hairclips, lip gloss, pens, chewing gum, earrings, safety pins - or is that just me?

Of course I forgot to photograph the one which was lined with some of Ethel's funky fabric, and now it has gone off to New York - ironically, that's where the outer fabric came from originally.

This week one of the new lines I'll be manufacturing (yes that's right, Flibbertygibbet is taking over the world!) is again using Ethel's fabrics, but this time I used it for the outside of the bag.  Because it's quite delicate, I "quilted" the fabric to some sew-in interfacing, and then cut out the pieces from that.  I wasn't quite happy with the shape at the bottom of this one so didn't bring it along but will have - literally - ironed out the creases for next week.  I think it just needs a good pressing, actually.  I do love the lining - liquid gold.

Will also do some more silver work for next week, at the moment there's the 'When You Wish Upon A Star', 'Dirty Martini', 'Skeleton Key' and this is the 'Flutter By'. 

BTW, hello to all the visitors who found their way here from One Hour Craft - thanks for the mention on your lovely blog, Mia, hurrah! - I was going to tell all you crafty people that the tutorial for zipper bags is on Anna's blog and then I see that Mia has linked to her mousemat tutorial today!  Small world, I tell you, this cyberspace...

Such loveliness!

Hmmm.  Is loveliness a real word?  The spellchecker reckons it is, but what does it know.  It doesn't recognise apostrophes normally so I don't have 100% faith in it.

So the loveliness refers to the most amazing package... from the lovely Denise (who doesn't have a blog...yet) and its fantabulous contents, a wonderful afghan in Neapolitan icecream colours, which she made to cheer me up. It worked!  Denise and I met years ago when we were the two sensible ones in a house full of eejits in Dublin.  We used to take it in turns, on school nights, to go down and scream at the ne'erdowells to turn the music down because 'some of us have work in the mornings' i.e. not you crowd of scroungers.  Then she fell hook line and sinker for her lovely American man, who came over to assist on her PhD project (yeah, she's dead clever as well as incredibly creative and generally lovely - if I didn't like her so much I'd hate her) and ran off to Amerikay.  She is epitome of thoughfulness, this woman - look at the stamps, even!  I snuggled up underneath it on the sofa last night after my first market day, and promptly fell asleep.

Yes, I was exhausted.  I honestly thought, during the day yesterday, that my feet might never be warm again.  This is partly because I am more than a little doolally at the moment, as we all know, and so I dressed myself in a couple of tshirts and a little wrap around cardi, my favourite impractical silver scarf, and my coat.  Dear god, I even had those little shortie socks on. Hello, I was asking for an early Christmas present of pneumonia.  I kitted myself out like it was September and I was planning on doing robust exercise all day, instead of standing still - which I did apart from when I was jumping up and down trying to get the feeling back in my feet -  in a bitter November wind for six hours.

So the market was an experience.  I was worried I wouldn't sell anything at all, but I did 'break the duck' and sold a couple of things.  Part of the problem was that I didn't have enough stock (on the teensy weensy round garden table that was provided) to make people stop and look, that will be remedied for next week.  I need more cards, and more photos of the quilts in progress.  More bags, less jewellery as there was tons of jewellery there, though mostly imported rather than handmade.  I am still encouraged to continue. 

Another very good thing was that I got to meet Caroline of Dolliedaydream, which was lovely!  So good to put names and faces together.  Must post some photos soon of the new quilt with the daisies fabric that Caroline sent, it's so sweet.

Ok, off to cut out more bags... a hive of industry it will be.  Now must just also bang out 20,000 words so that my Nano word count gets up to date, hah! 

The Nano postcard also came from Denise - she 'won' Nano last year, writing 50k words in a month, and will probably do it again this year - genius, I tell you.

 

Just to clarify...

My grandmother, on hearing the news, made an interesting point.

'She is not to say that "we have decided to separate",' she announced, 'as he is the one who wants out.'

It's a bit chicken and egg.  Is it better to be leaving or to be the one left behind?  Does it matter?  If I do really want us to stay together, should I be fighting harder rather that taking the easy way out, and giving up? For some demented reason I suggested that we tell people (I know, I know, we don't have to tell people anything but similarly I don't really want to put it as a postscript in the Christmas cards - and would we be sending individual ones?) that we had decided to separate "as we wanted different things in life".  Well, that's true.

Many unexpected little gems of wisdom make me realise I'm going through something very common and quite universal.  Crazy Aunt Purl (see sidebar) makes a lot of sense.  Someone else offered this fabulously contradictory pearl - 'Don't take anyone's advice.'  That seems eminently sensible.  The other entreaty was to take care of myself, which is also something to remember.

So as Ruth said, it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.  Perhaps being more honest in the first place would mean I wouldn't be in this position (mostly foetal, protecting my head) but the real truth of it is, that some very tiny things in the last few days have made me realise that perhaps at the moment I'm not being quite myself anyway, and haven't been for a while.  My long-time acupuncturist (while sticking pins in me and dispensing therapy today) told me that I've always struck him as someone who trusts in their own vision, 'not wanting to sound corny,' he said, 'but you follow what your heart tells you.'  'Not my heart.  My stomach.'  He immediately said that was it -  and that the stomach is the most dense part of the body and it tells you quickly whether something agrees with you or not.  I always get the instinctive reaction there, either the heavy acidic dread or the tingly butterflies of excitement. 

I believe that the butterflies will come again. 

Last night I organised a Nanowrimo write in, which was great fun.  Met some very daft and great fun people and I'm very glad I went.   Similarly I went to a gig with an old college friend on Monday, after he texted me out of the blue to say that he was in town for the night, on tour with Moya Brennan. And bumped into someone I worked with many years ago, which was totally random - and rather than just sit there all evening thinking - god, I'm sure I know her - I went up and had a chat with her.  All  most unlike me.  Or the recent me anyway. 

See this is what happens in this house when you try to clear a space and do some work.  But I must get back to it to have any chance of having anything ready for Saturday.

Working away

Thank you so so much to all the sweet people who commented and emailed.  I really appreciated it, and it's very comforting. 

So here's what's keeping me occupied.

That's the Spots and Stripes one.  Hmmm, possibly a little busy for some people - you could go blind if you look too closely -  but I actually really like it.  It will be bound with yellow gingham, as I think it's missing a little sunshine - looks a bit Christmassy almost which is fine for now but could be grating in March.

A variation on the blocks, plus some solid rows.  I think the chambray offsets the pinkness nicely.  Sort of tomboy fairy.

This will be known as the Whoops quilt.  You can see why.  But I've decided it adds interest.

Silver and fluorite earrings. 

 

Look at this riot of colour!  About 150 fabulously hued zips, for other projects that are floating around my head.

There's more to say but I really need to get working - I missed knitting group this morning but it seems like I just faffed about instead...

Life moves on

This blogging thing is quite strange really.  Through it I've 'met' some people, made some new friends and felt happy to share sometimes quite excruciating minutiae about my life, for the past months, while at the same time not really revealing much about my personal details, if that makes sense.

All the while I've had something going on which I've mostly hidden apart from some fairly oblique references but this morning it has finally come to a head.  The desperately sad truth of it is that my husband and I have decided to separate.  We're both devastated.  I've told my family who have been mostly in the loop all the way along and are also in bits, but can't quite imagine telling friends, to whom I've been glossing it over and saying 'no, we're fine really' for so long now. 

It seems strange even to me to want to tell you, out in cyberspace, but I need to tell someone and this is a cheating way to do so (although parts of me think I may go back and delete this later). It means that the friends who know about the blog get a heads up without me having to verbalise it - because saying it out loud will make it real, don't you know. Here was me hoping that I'd wake up and realise it had all been a very bad dream but that's not going to happen. So at the moment I want to try to maintain some sort of normality, so keep blogging, and working, and gradually accept the thought that life moves on, even if it's not in the direction I would have wanted.