Life moves on

This blogging thing is quite strange really.  Through it I've 'met' some people, made some new friends and felt happy to share sometimes quite excruciating minutiae about my life, for the past months, while at the same time not really revealing much about my personal details, if that makes sense.

All the while I've had something going on which I've mostly hidden apart from some fairly oblique references but this morning it has finally come to a head.  The desperately sad truth of it is that my husband and I have decided to separate.  We're both devastated.  I've told my family who have been mostly in the loop all the way along and are also in bits, but can't quite imagine telling friends, to whom I've been glossing it over and saying 'no, we're fine really' for so long now. 

It seems strange even to me to want to tell you, out in cyberspace, but I need to tell someone and this is a cheating way to do so (although parts of me think I may go back and delete this later). It means that the friends who know about the blog get a heads up without me having to verbalise it - because saying it out loud will make it real, don't you know. Here was me hoping that I'd wake up and realise it had all been a very bad dream but that's not going to happen. So at the moment I want to try to maintain some sort of normality, so keep blogging, and working, and gradually accept the thought that life moves on, even if it's not in the direction I would have wanted.

Comments

[Ali]

Hope you can make peace with your decision soon. Be kind to yourself - change is hard.

[Anna]

I'm really sorry to hear your news, I will be thinking of you. Hugs

[Denise]

Love you so much and wish was I there with you.
D xx

[P]

oh I'm sorry. You will be OK, take your time over it

[kirsty]

I want to say something comforting and profound but all I can think is Oh fuck that stinks. Sorry, F. Keep blogging. We need you here! And we'll only talk about it if you want to, OK?

[ruth singer]

ah, that's sad. Much sympathy. Rage about it online if you want, don't if you don't want. It's your blog and you can cry if you want to
x

[Julie]

Sorry to read that you're going through a tough time. Glad you decided to write about it - I've found writing down painful thoughts and feelings has really helped me - I hope it brings you the same comfort. I hope time is kind to you and that you find future peace with what is awful right now.

[JeanieB]

Keep making things, however small - it's very healing.

:-)