How to get my life in order

I mentioned recently that I am making moves towards 'getting my life in order' and Pixie (jokingly..?) asked if that involved giving up blogging. Nah, unlikely.  Setting some goals and getting some routine is the way to go.

I'm sure it's not just me who sometimes feels like this: that I'm not doing enough, not prioritising, not achieving anything.  It's not so much a case of keeping up with the Joneses, as with myself.  I read other lovely blogs and think 'I wish I could express myself so captivatingly/that I was as creative/that I knew these creative giants in person' and now I realise what I'm actually saying, or indeed what I'm hiding.  That I'm not confident about writing for public consumption - and then I remember I have a blog. Who know how many people read it, but it's out there.  Creativity is as creativity does - and it's just as important to 'have a go' - create a WIP, a muslin, a first draft - as to ultimately get it right.  Much as persevering, finishing, frogging and ripping, and editing is. I'm experimenting, designing more, gaining a little more confidence. Knowing these people - well it would be interesting to have more people in my life who get excited about paper stock, Liberty cottons, sheet silver.  I just need to be brave enough to look for them, without feeling like Bertha No Mates, or a stalker.  They are out there.  (I know you are).

That's a lengthy preamble to the fact that I identify all these things, and have the best of intentions, only the very best.  But I am a typical Aries in some things, like jumping into new things but losing interest after a short while.   Especially when I can never do things by half, so it's lose weight, run another marathon, be more creative, blog frequently, don't just blog about what I did but about what I made, set up my company, sell my stuff, retrain. All of it, and now.  But I'm giving myself until the end of this year, and taking each day as it comes.  There are some mindblowing events and possibilities which could unfold between now and November, some of which are less than pleasant and I have not a ounce of influence over any of them - but all are potentially life-changing.  But isn't that what I am setting out to do? Change my life?  Might as well attempt to participate and change it the way I'd like - rather than just letting it happen to me.  It's funny how all the HUGE things that are careering across my path at the moment are not terrifying me, rather they are presenting themselves as opportunities. Maybe I'm braver than I thought. x

Comments

[kirsty]

Yes, you ARE braver than you think! I firmly believe that life doesn't throw anything our way that we don't have the resources to handle. And I also think it's a really good idea to surround yourself with like-minded people - especially with regards to artistic endeavours because they tand to be things which are very isolating. I don't know how long you've been reading my blog, but one of the reasons I started it was because we moved to a very small outback town and I know so few artistic types here. I need people to bounce ideas off and to inspire me.Blogging was a good way for me to create a new community of arty friends. That may sound a bit sad but it works!!!!

[Flibbertygibbet]

I've cast out a few lines. Let's see what I hook. x

[Amy]

Wow...you just wrote exactly what I have been feeling lately. I went to the library today and checked out some books on creativity/self-help. Plus, I deleted my blog yesterday..maybe I will return in the future but I need to focus on other things right now. You are not alone!

[leslie]

Ah Dear Flibbertygibbet,

You have more strength and creativity and pluck than you know. And I adore your writing. I often feel the same way about my writing, but sometimes the wind strikes me right and I write something halfway decent.

I agree about tackling each day as it comes. There was a great story someone once told me: Think of getting to a goal like driving at night. You can only see 20 yards ahead of you at night, but that doesn't mean you stop at the end of the 20 yards--you keep going and before you know it--you are there. I hope that makes sense.

I'm rooting for you!

[Flibbertygibbet]

Amy, I have to say that when I read that you deleted your blog, I thought 'What?!' but if that's what works for you, then go for it! There's a book I want to recommend to you - as soon as I find it... I think it might be called 52 projects?

Leslie, you're such a star, you always make me smile, and believe me, I appreciate the cyber-support! xx

[Denise]

Wow Miss FG
I am so glad I was directed to your blog. Not least because I can see from the responses of your readers (and can add to them myself) that you do not feel alone in this feeling of self-doubt. It comes and goes...when you tuck in that last stitch on the cardigan for your baby nephew, wrap it up and send it off...ahh achievement! Then you look in the corner at those plump balls of woolly possibility, and consider all the babies waiting to be born and adorned with your masterpieces, and you're at the bottom of the hill again. And, it's kind of like that in life sometimes too, if you let yourself think that way. It's funny how you describe yourself as a typical Aries, prone to starting a project with great enthusiasm, then moving excitedly on to the next. While I have known you to do that, I must also say that you generally succeed - excel even - in your efforts. How many of us have taken up running and actually completed a marathon? How many of us have dabbled in sewing and successfully produced something fit to wear at a wedding? How many of us have sat, frustrated and bitching in an unfulfilling job, and then had the strength to leave it and pursue our dreams??
Don't ever underestimate yourself my dear. Maybe you need to come and live in the States for a while, get a dose of good ole fashioned self-confidence.
Your old friend, d xxx

[Flibbertygibbet]

You're too good to me D... and thanks for the regular doses of self-confidence that you send me over the Atlantic xx