Focus

I've learned a lot of things about myself over the past few years, though not nearly enough. One thing, which I've probably mentioned before, is that I don't work well without a deadline. I procrastinate, and yesterday I procrastiknitted. That has meant that a spontaneous lunch invitation for today, that I was inclined to decline but now would like to accept, is probably not going to happen because I have a freelance job hanging over my head that's due for Tuesday. (Monday is a holiday here). A neat lesson.

I've been trying to get a little more focus into my life, but even deciding on the list of priorities has been tiring: a constantly leapfrogging list of sorting out work/life balance: do creative things that make me happy; work out how to manage my ever problematic finances; write more of the book; get healthy - lose a couple of stone (put like that it sounds so easily, like I'm carrying two large boulders in my pockets and simply need to put them down somewhere) and regain my yoga flexibility and some stamina; see friends; get out and meet new people rather than coming home knackered and being fit for nothing. Fit for nothing sort of sums it all up at the moment.

So in the way of addressing these issues, yesterday I slept until almost 1pm and then knitted a lot.

The sleeping thing was vital - three days at a trade show coupled with weeks of prep for said show had left me entirely drained. My boss told me to leave at 2pm but I ended up faffing about town, killing time until I was going to a friend's house for dinner; still I appreciated the gesture. All I wanted to do yesterday was something creative, and the girls keep telling me that I should knit something for myself for a change. So I decided to CO a number of projects to keep me interested. Will that really work?

Hence:

Garter rib socks from the Charlene Schurch book, in Purl's custom colour Lorna's Laces. Interesting colour blending - the dyeing isn't as clear as usual so instead of defined purple to white, it seems to fade to blue sometimes and that's causing the strange blue spiral. I think I like it. These have been on the go for about a week. Using the beautiful Lantern Moon needles from Robynn, because I felt the need to use precious yarn and the most luxurious needles to finally do something for myself. Finally.

These are the knitted-bar-the-afterthought-heel socks that I was doing for my granny, then realised that while Blue Sky Alpaca silk does indeed a luxurious bedsock make, it's also very big and baggy and I should have really thought that out a bit more. So I frogged those and returned the yarn to the stash.

In other knitting housekeeping, I finally finished those wristwarmers for the January birthdays.

I started on something from the Kim Hargreaves book, Cherish which is a shrug in Big Wool. I have definitely done something funny on the bottom edge. But that knitted up in a couple of hours so I guess I can bear to frog it and redo if necessary. Will blunder on with the sleeves and fronts and then redo the back as and when.

And the final 'for me' project is the cabled shrug from the Debbie Bliss Pure Silk book. I think I cast this on eight times. About seven attempts during the afternoon, and I'd keep screwing something up along the way and get to the end of the first row to find two stitches too many or too few waiting for me at the end of the needle. For some reason at 1am I thought 'ooh yes, let's pick that up again' and like magic it worked, as did row 2. I decided to quit while I was ahead - also because the next bit of the pattern somehow seemed to have been written in Swahili. Maybe it will be back in English today. This is as far as I got:

*****

Every once in a while, when you're trying to figure out everything from life plans to knitting patterns, something happens to remind you that you should stress less and live more because who knows what's going to happen. One of our knitting girls is gravely ill and while I've been mired in work I haven't keep up with her husband's blog. I didn't realise how rapidly things were progressing. The latest update from this morning is that he doesn't think that she will leave the hospital, and that these may be her final days. Understandably he doesn't think having crowds of people descend on the hospital is a good idea. Instead he says:

"If you want to do something for us today, then speak to a parent, partner, child or friend and tell them that you love them, as I will do to her, whether she hears me or not."

Though it's not really 'me', I'm working up to saying this to my friends and loved ones. You always assume that people know how much they mean to you. But that's probably not the case?

*****

Sadly Tash passed away a couple of hours later. We raised a glass at a local pub, which is coincidentally where they had their wedding reception; then went down to spend some time with her husband, her dad and her friends. Lots of laughter and good memories shared, and then we all cried all the way home in the taxi. A beautiful, bright, funny woman and we didn't have enough time with her. Miss you Tash. xxxx

Comments

[Denise]

I think we all have those days (weeks...months) berating ourselves for not somehow being able to shake up the bottle of marbles that is life so that they automagically arrange themselves by size and colour.
All I seem to do, when life gets jumbled, is add more marbles.

[Thimbleanna]

Oh how sad Ms. Flib. Things like your friend's death really make one stop and think. Interesting to see those socks out of Purl's custom Lorna's. I eye that yarn everytime I go in there but am too afraid of the pooling I've had in the past. Yours however aren't pooling so badly and they're pretty!

[Denise]

Hey I tagged you on my blog - suggestion for a guilty pleasures singalong song please!

[Sarah Jayne]

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend Tash. It was nice to hear you were all able to remember the happy times with her.